Emotions make us human. Sadness is real, anger is valid and frustration is genuine. Happiness feels amazing and excitement produces a healthy stress that we thrive off of. Heartbreak is painful, but love can be indescribable in the best way.

But, these things can be difficult to truly feel. Our fast-paced society demands performances, results and efficiency over reflection and thought. Consideration and analysis are traded in for subpar work that requires little brain power. It’s draining, but counterproductive. Some feel exhausted after a day of sitting. Others feel less than enriched because learning means memorization for short-term storing.

But, in my work at John Carroll as a student, friend, peer, leader and advocate I have learned ways to mend a lifestyle that feels repetitive, redundant, and unsatisfying. However, what I have concluded through my experiences is that reaching a point of fulfillment comes from being human. And being human stems from allowing room for emotions to be displayed.

How do we find methods to showcase and feel internal emotions? This proves to be a difficult question that, frankly, has no concrete answer. But, in my “wise” age (I’m 21), I believe that forming genuine relationships fosters the foundation for emotional growth and development.

Logically speaking, emotional responses traditionally result from a learned experience associated with a specific event. For example, you may fail a midterm and as a result, you feel sad, frustrated and begin to lack confidence. Or, you go through a messy breakup and you begin to experience hopelessness, denial, or uncertainty. Sometimes, it may be as standard as feeling nervous before doing some form of public speaking. Regardless of the situation, emotions are learned through previous experience. But, it’s essential to recognize that within those instances, there’s likely a relationship between you and someone else or you and your own mind.

So, if we are seeking emotional tendencies that are authentic and healthy, we have to look at our relationships first. Suppressing emotion signifies that our relationships, whether interpersonal or internal, are conflicted. Instead, relationships should be formed on the basis of learning, growth, discovery, perspective and understanding.

At that point, your connections become more transparent and your thoughts begin to flow with admirable curiosity and well-roundedness. But, once again, this begs yet another question: how do we form relationships to become human?

For this question, the answer is more concrete. Surround yourself with people that care. Find a crew that brings out your optimism and quest for kindness. Revive relationships that breathe life and energy into your soul. And for your own relationship with yourself as a human, remember to have compassion and space for internal grace. Show love to your imperfections and commend your own ability to persevere and persist.

The more we focus on establishing genuine relationships with ourselves and others, the more we can feel, grow, and live happier lives.

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: This has no scientific basis, just some food for thought :)**