As the JCU community returns to in-person classes, many students are still figuring out how to navigate “the new normal.” While we all want to keep each other safe, some of us might still need a gentle reminder on how to do exactly that. h

Here are seven trendy ways to keep COVID-19-free in a totally normal way:

-Keep measuring tape on you AT ALL TIMES to keep that six foot distance. Whip it out as much as you can, even if it interrupts conversations! People will appreciate your diligence.

-Encase yourself in a plastic bubble.

-Scream as loud as you can when anyone even comes NEAR your bubble. 

-Do you need to wear a mask but don’t want those boring old blue ones? No problem! Wear one that is completely made out of Fruit Roll-Ups. That way, you will have the most colorful mask out there. Plus, who doesn’t want a snack for later?

-Always keep a Hershey Kiss handy in your mask. Like we said earlier, it’s a snack for later. 

-Wear fuzzy gloves underneath your plastic gloves. No cold fingers in here!

– Only get hand sanitizer from Bath and Body Works. We want the virus to die smelling like a banana birthday cake bellini! 

*This story is complete satire. We leave the real stuff for the professionals. For more information on how to prevent COVID-19, click here.