Free to Judge

Ella Schuellerman, Arts & Life Editor

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






Part of the process of feeling self-conscious is constantly feeling judged by others. You feel that you are being looked at funny, that they are giggling at you, that they are so glad they aren’t you. It sounds so negative, but they are the thoughts that race around some people’s brains with no sign of stopping.

It is already hard as it is for some to get out of their comfort zones. While some people do not care what others think, it is still up to the them to decide whether or not they want to come out of their shell and be themselves.

Feeling judged is demoralizing and often times worse than the actual embarrassment because sometimes you have no idea what someone is thinking of you, but when you see their face, you know they are picking apart some part of you. How does one deal with the spiralling anxiety of feeling belittled?

Often times, if you know you have been judged before, you think it is happening again, even if it’s not. The judgement could just be in your head, but regardless, you still feel like your heart is out in the open, ready to be attacked. Acknowledge that you are having negative thoughts and separate it from the truth. Embrace what you are and own it. Nobody’s opinion has the upper hand in taking away your own confidence.

Another thing to remember is we really do not know what is going on in those people’s minds who appear to be judgemental. They quite honestly could be looking at you and wishing they were you, yet it comes off as horrible, negative, no-good spite. Do not make yourself feel bad for thinking you know how someone else views you.

The heavy press of judgement actually begins with ourselves. If you are already susceptible to feeling unsure about yourself, it is obviously going to make you more prone to feeling judged by others. It is sad to think that a singular bad experience of feeling judged plays out to make you the biggest critic of all.

You cannot build self-confidence out of thin air, but you can at least start by taking your self-motivations in life and curating them into self-praise. Be proud of yourself for the big accomplishments and the little ones too.

There really is no confirmed remedy to that feeling of the air being sucked out of the room when you know someone is rubbing you the wrong way. The best way to start avoiding that negative energy is to focus on the positive influences in your life and ways to uplift yourself.

There are so many blogs and even professional websites such as Forbes and Entrepreneur that cover confidence in their articles and posts. A guest writer for Entrepreneur wrote in the beginning of February about how to boost yourself up, personally and professionally. The unique advice he gave included remembering to visualize yourself as you want to be, set yourself up for positive wins and question your inner critique.

Sometimes you end up being the one lashing out the harshest comments about yourself! How rude, but it is true. Your inner critic is always overreacting and making every step you take way too dramatic than it actually is. Give yourself a break and emphasize the parts of you that rock.

Take away this: Eleanor Rosevelt told us that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. So do not do it to yourself or take it to heart if someone else does it to you. Watch your confidence grow automatically in the process of just giving yourself a little more power.