This semester, I have partaken in a lot of quiet introspection. Well, I have also partaken in quite a bit of loud introspection too which any avid reader of “Gabbing with Grace” could deduce. All of this reflecting has made me think about all of the little things I will forever cherish as this semester comes to an end. 

As an overly sentimental person, the things that I am going to miss the most are the interactions with the people I had the pleasure of seeing almost everyday. No matter the day, there were so many people, meetings and events to look forward to. 

I couldn’t wait to go to work in the ResLife Office and play Uno Flip with Olivia Espericueta. I would awake on Wednesday mornings with eager anticipation for my weekly meeting with Kathleen Sardon and I would be so excited to see where our conversation took us. Thursday nights entailed standing in front of the Grasselli Help Desk, conversing with the professional and student staff alike. 

These interactions became a priority in my life. Throughout the course of this semester, a catchphrase that I have adopted has been, “time is all we have;” I came to believe that people will come and go but the clock will continue to tick. With this mindset, priorities come down to what you consider to be most valuable at any particular moment so, naturally, people and experiences were prioritized over other things like sleep. I would strategically plot my day so there was little to no free time and I would stay up late after everyone went to sleep to finish assignments.  

The less time I spent in my room the better since that meant I was out “accomplishing” something. The less blank space in my calendar the better since it meant I had taken the steps necessary to make sure my time was constantly occupied. I fell into this vicious cycle of willingly ignoring my own needs and, instead, I gave most of my energy to those who I felt deserved my time. While I don’t regret this, I am now able to recognize how I forgot the responsibilities I owe to myself. 

How can I prioritize the ones I love when I can’t even prioritize myself? In retrospect, I was giving away so much of myself that, by the end of the day, there was nothing left for me. I had forgotten how to enjoy my own company. Even watching a movie in solitude felt like a waste of my time. 

To combat this problem, I searched for a hobby. I tried a lot of things but after proving to myself, yet again, that I am terrible at crafts, I found a few things that make me enjoy my own company. 

First, I found that getting off campus is essential. The problems of a college student seem insignificant when you walk far enough away from the shadow of St. Ignatius Hall’s clock tower. 

Next, I found that physical exertion helped remove stressors from my mind. It’s hard to focus on a paper that I am procrastinating when crossing Warrensville Center Road on foot or bike. Walking and riding my bike helped keep me active while working the “survival” part of my brain. Once I walked and biked around enough, I found secluded picnic tables and benches that were perfect for the third essential activity in enjoying my own company: reading. 

It is hard to be an avid reader in college when most homework assignments involve reading content that might not be particularly engaging. However, I have been able to reenter what I have been calling my “reading era” through the books of Taylor Jenkins Reid, James Baldwin and Charles Bukowski. I will forever be in debt to these authors who have reignited my passion for reading and writing and who have helped me to relearn how to enjoy my own company. 

When I look back on the Spring semester of my sophomore year, I think I am going to remember it as a time of immense growth. I have had the opportunity to meet a lot of fantastic people and evolve alongside them. Are there things I regret and wish I could change? Absolutely. Would I change anything? No way. 

I am forever grateful for the late night conversations on Tuesday nights after The Carroll News. I am forever grateful for the nine o’clock Saxbys meetings three times a week. I am forever grateful for the drives to Cinemark Valley View for my internship. I am forever grateful for the late night talks on Wednesday nights in the corner booth of the tween. I am forever grateful for the times I got to ride my bike which reinvigorated a love for the moments I spent in solitude.  These moments became priorities and I am so glad that they did.

One line from Baldwin’s “Giovanni’s Room” that summarizes how I feel about the end of sophomore year states, “The morning weighs on my shoulders with the dreadful weight of hope and I take the blue envelope… and tear it slowly into many pieces, watching them dance in the wind, watching the wind carry them away. Yet as I turn and begin walking toward the waiting people, the wind blows some of them back on me”

 As this semester concludes, all of the mistakes, missed opportunities and regrets will follow me. Yet, that means all of the laughter, joy and people will blow towards me as well. And I can live with that.