Headlines that Won’t be in the Carroll News (9/10-10/11)

Andrew Gilkey, Diversions Editor

Headlines from 9/10

  1. President Johnson: “I’m going to make tuition less bigly.”

  2. Jesse McCartney: Musician of the Century

  3. Diversions wins Pulitzer Prize For Public Service 

Headlines from 9/20

  1. After Anti-Tobacco Policy Success JCU to Ban Fun

  2. Pres. Johnson To Hold Peace Summit With Mount U

  3. Cam-Ham Street Preacher Spreads Love and Positivity on Campus

Headlines from 9/27

  1. JCU Barstool:  Blue Streaks at Their Best

  2. “The JCU Caf IS Flavortown,” Says Guy Fieri

  3. Study Says Mirrors in Corbo Room Improve Student Self-Esteem 25%

Headlines from 10/4

  1. Chicken Bowl JUUL Pods to be sold at Warrensville BP
  2. Lex Luthor to replace Elon Musk as CEO of Tesla

  3. New Student Activities Bill to pay for TWO washed up Disney stars

Headlines from 10/11

  1. Caf Critics Found to be Crisis Actors
  2. Swamp Thing and Sophia Maltese win Homecoming Court

  3. Dr. Johnson Unmasked: JCU President Secretly Elvis Presley