If I’m being honest with you, I don’t want to write this column. I don’t know what to write. What can I talk about? It felt like there was so little time. Losing part of my last two years at JCU made me feel like I had an incomplete journey here. Maybe I missed out on some of the most incredible memories of my life. 

Well, that’s not entirely true. I should stop being so dramatic. I just hate goodbyes.

In my freshman year, I moved in with my best friend from middle school. While our dynamic wasn’t always easy, she helped me survive my first year of college. I also made the most significant decision of my college career — I joined The Carroll News. I would go to almost every meeting. I would hear the editors talk amongst each other and think to myself, “Man, I can’t wait to be a part of this.”

At the end of my freshman year, I was promoted to be a section editor. On our first deadline night, I immediately grew close to most of my fellow editors, and our relationships only grew stronger. I even remember sitting around the room with everyone, laughing about some quotes on our iconic quote wall.

There’s a memory.

In my sophomore year, I studied abroad in Ireland. (Come on, every study-abroad student has to talk about their study-abroad experience at their study-abroad school. Did you know I studied abroad?)

I remember traveling with my friends in Munich, where we walked in the English Gardens, explored historical sites and even went to a nightclub. I remember how hard we danced (and how sore my voice was the following day).

There’s another one.

Junior year was THE year. The COVID chaos. I worried that this would be where my experience at JCU stopped.

But it wasn’t. I remember staying up late with my friends on the speech and debate team after practice. Even if it was a weekday, we made sure to hang out like it was the weekend. I never regretted being tired the next day. 

Those friends helped me get through some of the most challenging times in my life. I remember staying up with my friends after an incredibly rough night. We watched “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” and they stayed with me for as long as I needed. 

I keep surprising myself with these memories.

The beginning of my senior year was spent in existential dread about where the time went and what I would do to make up for it (again, dramatic, right?). However, I still made some of the sweetest memories.

I remember my roommate, Ella, taking me to a sunflower patch to soak up some sun and love ourselves. I remember how confident I felt, thinking, “Why can’t I always feel like this?”

I look back on these memories and smile. I didn’t miss out on anything. It was unconventional, sure, but I didn’t lose anything. I’m giving the pandemic too much credit. 

I am blessed with the most supportive community I can ever ask for. Every year, I grew a little more, and they supported me throughout the journey. Whether it be by allowing me to cry during professors’ office hours or providing critical advice, the JCU community was there for me.

Because of you, I grew into the strong woman I am today. I feel like I am finally me.

I can go on and on about how incredible my experience was here, but I can’t because it will be like I am saying goodbye. As I said, I hate goodbyes.

But I realize that this is a bittersweet one. It’s bitter because I am leaving some of the greatest friends I have ever met, some of the most outstanding professors and mentors I had the pleasure of learning from and one of the most beautiful places I’ve lived (yes, even in the dorms with no air conditioning). But there’s a sweetness in all the sadness — I am entering the career world authentically me. 

By the way, no, I will not say goodbye.