Two academic buildings stand divided by the clock tower of the “aptly” named St. Ignatius Hall. One of these buildings is dedicated to expanding the minds of students by giving them a deeper understanding of language and writing; the other is dedicated to deepening the pockets of the students who undergo the transformative “Boler Professional Development Program.” 

The values of these distinct academic areas studied in the O’Malley Center and Boler College of Business may align with the mission of John Carroll University but the similarities end there. The content being taught in these buildings is not the only thing that separates them but the quality of the buildings differ greatly. 

The slogan “investing in inspired futures” not only sounds like it was plagiarized from a Starbucks commercial, but really hits home the point that the administration is investing in areas that will make them more money in the future. It is pretty obvious that the “futures” they are “investing” in are those of Boler students with the hopes that a sizable donation will be forthcoming in ten to twelve business days when tuition is due. 

Let’s take a look at the amazing amenities offered to those business students who are the backbone of this institution and compare them to those offered to the lowlifes in the O’Malley Center, shall we? 

Legend has it that drinking the polluted water from this O’Malley water fountain will guarantee a communications major a high, five figure salary. 

Unsurprisingly, the water that springs forth from Boler fountains is that of luxury water brands like Evian and Fiji Water. Only the best water for the number one “Best Undergraduate Business School” according to Bloomberg Businessweek in 2016. 

If you dare to look up at the ceiling of OC212, aka the sauna, you may have to go to the doctor due to respiratory inflammation. Students have reported coughing, sneezing and difficulty breathing to the Wellness Center but were told to “get lost” after a business student arrived with a hand cramp from studying for a Welki exam. 

In the words of Ohio native, Lebron James, “Not one, not two, not three…” but four whole TVs to make one giant TV. The funds allocated to this single classroom rival the salaries of all full time English professors combined. 

This O’Malley classroom has been known for its poor Wifi connection but, then again, you could say that about every square foot of campus. If it were up to me, the slogan for JCU’s next big project should be, “investing in fixing the godforsaken Wifi.” 

Some classrooms in O’Malley have yet to be modernized with the classic, John Carroll furniture of choice… desks on wheels. This O’Malley classroom is perfect for getting to know your fellow classmates since students need to climb over one another to get to their seat. Who needs the stairmaster in Corbo when this obstacle course classroom counts as cardio?

The infamous Boler Ticker Room has ergonomic chairs to help elevate the lower back pain of Boler students which stems from them carrying the weight of being better than all other majors. 

The disparity between Boler and O’Malley makes it abundantly clear where the priorities of this university lie. The subtle hints of a complete disregard for the humanities may be small now but will become more clear with time. 

The administration only cares about the departments nestled within the O’Malley Center when it’s beneficial to the admissions and IMC department. Chuck Todd’s visit to campus made this sentiment obvious since it seemed like every staff member with a camera was required to take pictures of the event for the plethora of JCU Instagram pages. 

How can we forget, Tim Russert is probably the most successful alumni that JCU has churned out and yet the communications department still gets half the respect of any department in Boler. Russert is a one in a million scenario but Saxbys Student CEOs are a dime a dozen. 

Unless Marcello Hernandez donates his SNL earnings to start the Marcello Hernandez College of Standup Comedy, I would not be surprised if O’Malley becomes the storage closet for Boler’s AACSB accreditation paperwork. 

As for now, the mold in the O’Malley Center is growing exponentially just like the debt of this institution as it “braves the quest” to “build inspired futures.” We have been asking ourselves how to build inspired futures but never stopped to ask the question, at what cost?